Wednesday, February 14, 2007
THE OLD MAN
Looking back over my calendar today I noticed that 5 of the funerals that I had done over the past year were for people who had been married for 50 years or longer. I couldn't help but feel a pain in my heart as I thought of how hard it must have been on the spouse that was left behind after all the years of marriage.What amazing memories they must have built together. They had gone through the newly wed stage, the children stage and the empty nest stage. I was in awe as I sat there thinking about how much more I still had left to experience in my own marriage. Where will I be in another 30 years? What kind of intimacy and marriage will we have after 50 plus years.
I think of all these long marriages, and it's these marriages that anchor me in my own marriage. I see them and it helps me to say, "They've made it, We can too." I've already made so many memories, and I may still have another 30 plus years to go. I'm so thankful for couples that have been rich in long marriages. They are our example and we should praise them.
As I sat and thought about long marriages, I remembered the story of the old man:
The Old Man
The old man held the hand of his wife as she lay in the hospital bed. She was weak and quiet. He had tears in his eyes as he prayed she'd hear what he had to say.
He said, "Honey, you know it's a mystery to me how time has made the days turn into years. Cause it seems like just yesterday, right down the hall, you and I were here. Simple little blood tests before we were to be married - you nearly fainted. We never knew getting married would hurt. We were so young, so sincere and so sure we could make it work. Then two years later and two floors down, our daughter was born. I had to borrow a dime from the doctor so the proud father could make a call. Then sometime later we came here again. I remember our son's broken arm. You were the one the nurses had to settle. And it seemed like moments ago we were here when the grand baby came."
Then the old man stopped talking and moved in close. He begged her to whisper his name just once more. So many times they'd been there together and together they'd always gone home, but this time was different. And the old man cried, because this time he was to leave there alone.
I think if you could ask the old man in the story, "Was it worth it?" He'd say, "Every last minute of it."
Labels: Marriage
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8 Comments:
Trey,
I enjoyed the post. I too, have marvelled at the love that comes from a lifetime together. The death of a spouse requires the surviving mate to reinvent and redefine themselves, their future plans and dreams and goals were all buried with the love of their life. Having lost a husband after only 17 years of marriage, I cannot imagine losing one after 57 years.I am praying right now for the surviving spouses you wrote of.
Good post.
Peace and prayers,
Neva
Neva, I thought of you this morning long before you wrote anything. I knew you'd know more about this topic that I would. My prayers are with you.
Blessings
I am inspired by those who endure, my own parents were married 50 years before my father passed, and until the very end I never witnessed any brokenness in their marriage. Its not that they were affectionate, as they rarely displayed affection publicly, but it was an enduring loyal love that I saw. I went to visit my father in the nursing home a month before he passed and I asked him what was the best thing about being married 50 years was. His response " I can be me warts and all and she will still love me and I will still love her warts and all" I am now in my 14th year of marriage and I delight in the love of my dear husbands warts, because those are the warts that bring me to my knees to the Lord in Prayer. mmm there could be something to this!
Married 50+ years? Wow! We are looking at 28 years coming up and there are days that I think, "This is a breeze." Other days I think, "I may put a pillow over his head while he's sleeping." I'm thinking that by the time I get to 50 I won't remember anything but the good. Time has a way of erasing the bad and enhancing the good.
I saw a couple the other day who had been married for 67 years. I had a conversation with my wife trying to imagine that. We have been married for 13 and the first half cetainly had its rough spots but I am becoming like Monalea. I see mostly good and look forward to forgetting all the bad. Sometimes Daryl and I may deserve the pillow but thank God he blessed us with wives who are patient. And, in due time God works out the wrinkles. Trey, I had never seen the poem of the old man. I was caught off guard by the ending. I can't imaging going home without her, I will just pray for God's strength if I face that day.
Trey, thanks for the tears. They are symbols of heart. I think my question has changed through the years from "Can we live together that long", to "Can we just please both stay alive that long". We both want to go home to our father, but we are really enjoying the time here.
James, thanks for not wanting to go home without me.
Kathy
Amen brother great thoughts and a greatpost! By the way, you just got tagged over at my site. :-)
Bobby
How sweet! Thanks
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