3. Use the silent treatment when you are mad.
4. Always put yourself first.
5. Be critical.
6. Tell your spouse they need to change, but you make no effort to change.
7. Ignore your spouses needs.
8. Make no effort to improve yourself or your marriage.
9. Never compliment your spouse.
10. Speak negatively about your spouse around other people.
11. Make no effort to keep yourself "looking good" for your spouse.
12. Use derogatory names like stupid, dumb, ignorant and idiot.
13. Always blame your spouse for the problems. It's never your fault.
14. Take your mate for granted.
15. Quit trying to impress your spouse (you're married, it's not needed anymore).
16. Withhold sex to punish your spouse.
17. Never take any time to get away without the kids.
18. When arguing ... bring up old stuff from the past.
19. Have a short fuse.
20. When angry be verbally abusive.
21. Never seek outside help when you come to an impasse.
22. Don't tell your spouse how much you love or appreciate them. Just expect them to know it.
23. Have a "it's my way or the highway" attitude.
24. Spend more time with your friends than your spouse.
25. Never say "I love you."
Labels: His Needs Her Needs, Marriage
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17 Comments:
putting things in the negative seems to make such a powerful point.
all good stuff
brian
I agree with Brian... reading your list was depressing. Great way to make a point. Because you will definitely be depressed in your marriage if you do those things. Have a great weekend!
Trey,
Those are definately 25 nails used to seal the coffin of a mariage. A very powerful blog post...good stuff.
Dane
Hey, you have a great blog, loved reading it. A ton of good stuff, really liked the lists. You are someone that has some great thoughts. I going to add you to my blog list.
www.matthewsblog.waynesborochurchofchrist.org
Some of these are easier to avoid than others. # 17 is the hardest. I know we need to take time away but it doesn't always happen as often as some other couples I know do it. I look at these and see the things we have grown past. Marriage is a commitment and takes effort. I think that is the point.
Matthew ... glad you're hanging out.
Annon... number 17 is hard. Lea and I struggle with that more than any other of these. It's never easy to leave kids. Especially when they are young.
another great list, Trey.
this has become one of my "must see" sites for every day.
keep up the good work.
Trey,
Great list.
Some other great ones:
26. Leave God Out of your marriage.
27. Never Pray Together.
28. Never decide on how many children you are going to have and how you are going to discipline them.
29. Play favorites with your children.
30. Love your children more than your mate.
31. Never tell your spouse they are a good parent or praise them in front of kids.
32.
Excellent additions, Preacherman
Excellent additions, Preacherman
ok, I know I haven't posted much on here but I am so busy with my website http://www.cocnet.us and I invite all trey's friends to join!
Brandon Voss
Hey Trey, thought you might like this...pretty interesting, though I'm not sure what the thrust of the idea is. http://www.madchurchdisease.com
Alright Trey---you really really freak me out when you move things around on your blog---I always have to do a double-take--
behave yourself--I am an old woman, you should be kinder.
:)
Hope the wedding went well and now Monalea can rest.
peace and prayers
neva
Oh another Brandon! ok this is Brandon Voss! :) but I am not Brandon!
http://churchformenflorida.blogspot.com/
I love your blog. Pls check out what we are doing to reach men in Daytona Beach, FL
Mike Ellis
Church for Men
I believe that number 15 is questionable.....Whether we're married or not we always want to make a good impression upon our partner. We need to continue to do the things we did before we were married (to win them over) and not stop just because we're married, because that's why we married them because of the impression they made on us.
Anonymous ... I agree 100%. It doesn't stop when after the wedding.
Blessings
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