Friday, March 28, 2008
10 WAYS TO STAY IN LOVE FOR 20 YEARS (By Lea - Part 1)
Hello bloggers! Hopefully Trey hasn't built this up so much that you will be disappointed. I liked all your suggestions for my post. I especially loved the suggestion made by an anonymous person to post about "Ten Way's to Stay in Love for 20 Years" (and hopefully more)! Here are some things Trey and I have learned from our 20 years of marriage...- WORSHIP & PRAY TOGETHER. Statistics show that couples who attend worship services together are less likely to divorce than those who don't. Praying together builds intimacy and communication by sharing you innermost thoughts together before your Lord and creator.
- READ THE BOOK HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS by Dr. Williard Harley, or better yet, take the 8 week seminar. We attended a training seminar and have led 4 of these 8 week seminars. I believe it is the best thing we have done for our marriage.
- DON'T SPEND MORE MONEY THAN YOU MAKE. Financial problems are the #1 cause for divorce in America. Living within your means and striving to be "debt free" will greatly reduce stress in your marriage. Another "must read" is Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. (Better yet, take the seminar and apply the principles.)
- UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT YOUR DIFFERENCES. Trey and I are polar opposites. Some of the very things that attracted me to him before we were married were the very things that drove me crazy after we were married. For the first few years of our marriage, I made us both miserable by trying to change him. It wasn't until I understood and accepted that he is exactly who God made him to be that I could overlook some minor things and truly love him for who he is. Yes, I'm going to suggest another book, but it has made a huge difference in the way I view Trey and other people. Personality Plus by Florence Littauer teaches why people are the way they are and points out the strengths and weaknesses of every personality type.
- KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN. How can you remain "one" if you never share your thoughts, concerns, and plans with one another? We have found that going walking together is one of our best times for communication away from interruptions. (The exercise is an added bonus).
Trey said he'd put the other 5 up on Monday! Thanks for stopping by,
Lea
Labels: His Needs Her Needs, Lea, Marriage
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25 Comments:
These were all great suggestions. One thing I find helpful is simply reading any relationship book together. Those things get couples talking and interacting on such a deeper level.
I am so glad that you made your post....I really enjoyed it...It is nice to have a woman's point of view sometimes too....keep it up....I will check back on Monday....keep it up...steph
Lea,
Finally something worth reading on this blog! You and Trey are wonderful examples of how husband and wife should love, respect and care for each other and encourage those around them.
Mr. Mythical
Great thoughts! I'm looking forward to hearing the rest. My husband & I are exact opposites too. And I also tried to get him to change (probably still do). It's a hard lesson to learn!
My wife is very uncomfortable praying aloud in the presence of a male, even her husband.
Was this ever a problem for you?
If so, how did you work through it?
If not, how would you recommend that a couple work through this tension?
Thanks, Lea...
nick
Great post, thanks for sharing with us, I look forward to the second half come next Monday. And of course I look forward to implementing these skills/tools with my spouse someday!
Lea,
Wonderful list.
I enjoyed reading it.
I am looking forward to your other posts.
I hope you have a blessed day!
I hope you'll be a regular "substitute" blogger here!
Nick,
Yes, there was discomfort for me when Trey & I started praying together. I think time is the only thing that has eased me through it. After 20 years, we really feel no inhibitions with each other. If she is willing to try it, I can promise her it will get easier with time. Something that might ease her through it is for both of you to talk about your prayer concerns, but you be the one to actually word the prayer. Even if she never feels comfortable enough to word the prayer, just be thankful that you are at least praying together. I hope this helps.
Lea
By the way, if anyone wants to see a little bit of what Trey has been doing in Tulsa, check out John Dobbs blog. (You can find it on Trey's blog roll.) John is at the same workshop and he posted a picture of Trey & our big boys on his site. Parker & Taylor are the 2 on the far left of the photo in Dallas Cowboy t-shirts (imagine that). Ryan Wakefield (affectionately known as #5) is in the center. Next to Trey is Zach, an AIM student who is just about to go to Scotland.
Lea
Lea,
GREAT JOB!! Great things pointed out here... Financial Peace by Dave is incredible.. I hear lots about it...and hope to take the class soon...
Great post, Lea. It makes me feel good Cody and I are doing some of those things, Financial Peace for 2 years now and the his need and her needs so maybe we will make it to 20. We hit 10 this summer, can't believe it. I am sure you probably already read His Needs/Her Needs for Parents, it is a great step 2 book for us with young kids.
Loved the post, you should start your own.
Melissa
great stuff, thanks for agreeing to post. i already liked the first two books and will check into the third.
enjoy the quiet...
Hey Lea,
I enjoyed your post. I love that you are willing to post here, too. Maybe there is some magic to that "opposite" thing. Rocky and I couln't be more different.
I am looking forward to part II!
Monica
Just back in the motel for a minute and reading comments.
Mr. Mythical ... better watch it big boy. I know your preacher and I'll tell him to "get after you!"
:)
Nice job, Lea.
Great post, Lea. very valuable insight. Thanks for sharing your older boys with us in Tulsa. It's been great to meet them. Maybe someday I'll get to meet you, too! Looking forward to Monday's post!
Hey Lea,
I had the great joy of meeting all of my blogger idols! Trey is amazing and I love him to death. I've only known him for like 6.4 minutes but I can tell that the two of you are amazing folk. Looks like you will need to be starting your own blog! I will be looking for it....as for me and my wife, looks like we need to stop at the marriage enrichment book section and get us one we can read together.
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Lea, Monday, Can you tell me the Top 10 ways to get a Christian woman to Marry Ya! lol
Lea & Trey: Excellent!
From Lea's mother-in-law. Great job, I knew it would be. Trey is a good preacher, but I think in most preacher's life what makes him that
is having a good, honest, God fearing wife. I was your teacher in first grade and in Jr. and Sr. high school,your work partner on mission trips and speaking engagements, I have seen you grow in all areas. You have excelled in fields of being a wife, mother and
a servant of God and daughter-in-law. I love you.
Oh yeah, you took my suggestions. One of these days I will get a sign in name. Thanks for the book ideas. I am particularly interested in the personality one. Keep blogging! It is nice to hear another woman's perspective (who isn't my mother!)
I updated my profile! "Check it Out"! I am also selling web designs and would like some suggestions for my web business. admin@idigitalweb.us
To my sweet Sister (in-law),
Even though you won't let me stuff more than 1 sheet into the washer I still think you are great. I have great respect and love for you.
Monalea
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