Monday, March 31, 2008
10 WAYS TO STAY IN LOVE FOR 20 YEARS (Part 2 - by Lea)
After being married for twenty years Trey and I have learned a lot of things that worked for us and a lot of things that didn't. I've been sharing things with you that did work for us. Last Friday was part one of this post. It can be found by clicking here! Here are the other five...
- BE LIKEABLE: I think we all go through times in our marriages when we love each other, but we just really don't like each other. Thankfully for us, those times have been infrequent and temporary. Things like grouchiness, moodiness, negativity and annoying behavior can cause us to become unlikeable. Nobody likes living with someone who is unlikeable. Proverbs 21:9 & 19 say that it's "better to live on the corner of a roof or in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife". Strive to be likeable.
- FIGHT FAIR: Disagreements are inevitable in marriage, but try to keep your attitude in check. Watch your words, tone of voice and body language. Don't hold grudges or keep bringing up each other's past mistakes. When you forgive you also need to forget!
- DATE OFTEN: It's very important to get away from the kids and just spend time focusing on each other. Be sure to include a weekend getaway occasionally! Husbands, it's extra bonus points for you if you're the one who lines up the babysitter and plans the date.
- SHARE MANY COMMON INTERESTS: Play together and be best friends. It's okay to have separate interests, but be sure you have more common interests than separate ones. I have learned to love things like camping, football and NASCAR and our relationship is better for it. Whatever your spouse has an interest in, try to develop an interest in it as well.
- LOVE & RESPECT IS ESSENTIAL: A Ladies Bible study I attend is reading a Focus on the Family book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called "Love and Respect." The verse we're looking at is Ephesians 5:33 that says, "Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband!" This isn't a suggestion, it's God's command. The love spoken of here is agape, unconditional love. This kind of love is doing what is very best for the other. The passage also suggests the respect must be unconditional. If I respect Trey unconditionally, he will love me unconditionally. The more Trey loves me, the more I respect him and the happier we are.
Thanks for all the nice comments on the first post. For those who suggested me starting my own blog, you're talking to a person who only gets on the computer twice a week. Maybe I can talk Trey into letting me post from time to time on this blog.
Thanks for reading,
Lea
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14 Comments:
Lea,
Wonderful post yet again.
I really enjoy reading what you have to say.
I hope you have a blessed week.
In Him,
Kinney Mabry
Thank you, Lea. Your counsel is wise, and Carly and I will put it to good use.
in HIS love,
Nick
Lea, I printed your blogs out for future reference. :)
Very good Lea, you've done a really great job, probably because you walk the talk. Love, Jo
(Trey's mom)
Great thoughts - sometimes it's easier to stay in love than to stay married!
Thank you Lea for sharing your secrets with us.
What a blessed post!
Thanks for sharing your insight. We have only been married closed to 14 years and I see what you are saying is so true. I appreciate your taking the time to write and get on to the computer.
Kathy
(Trey's DIL)
Lea,
Way to go! I thought Trey got all his wisdom from reading Proverbs, but really all he has to do is pay attention to you. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, Trey is lucky to have a Proverbs 31 wife.
Mr. Mythical
Thanks for sharing your ideas.
I think your last point is the most important. If that one falls apart, everything else seems to come crashing down.
You and Trey (and your boys!) are very blessed and I have no doubt you greatly bless the lives of those to whom you minister. Thanks for sharing some very good advice for all of us. I look forward to the next time you blog.
Trey and Lea- great principles- my wife and I recently co-ministered to churches in Delaware and El Paso on 'Maintaining Longevity in Marriage.' We used some of the same principles you mentioned! There is a God inspired pattern to follow. Thank you so very much.
Thank you for this post!
Lea,
This was amazing...I am going to copy it to my post from a "Wise Wife and Mother of Four Boys"
Thanks for the tips on the books/8-week conference
wow trey, not only did lea post TWICE she's also planning to ASK YOU if she can post occasionally. . you totally lucked out on that one
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