Monday, April 07, 2008
7 WAYS TO RUIN YOUR KIDS
LIE FOR YOUR KIDS. When a parent writes their child a note to school saying their child was sick or had a doctor's appointment, and really they just over slept .... YOU are teaching them it's OKAY to lie. Don't you get it? Don't lie to help cover up mistakes for your kids.- DON'T GIVE THEM ANY RULES. Just let them do what they want.
- AUTOMATICALLY THINK EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET YOUR CHILD WHEN THEY GET IN TROUBLE. Your child is perfect, how could they ever do anything wrong? Surely it's the school's fault that your child got in trouble. When I was a kid, if I got swats at school (yea, hard to believe), I got swats when I got home as well. Now days, when a child gets in trouble at school, the parent thinks it's the school's fault, the teacher's fault or the principal is picking on my child! Have you ever thought that your child might have done something wrong?
- NEVER DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN. Discipline is overrated. Want more on disciplining children? Click here!
- PULL STRINGS TO GET YOUR CHILDREN OUT OF TROUBLE. Actually, if your child has done something that deserves punishment, let them be responsible for their own actions. Don't threaten to call a lawyer, talk to the principal or talk to a superior to get your child out of trouble for something they've done. Have you ever heard of "you reap what you sow" or you have to be responsible for your own actions?
- BE INCONSISTENT. Tell your kids to do one thing then you do another. Instead, be the parent that's brave enough to get up and turn off a television show that doesn't need to be on. Let your children see you consistently living what you preach. Be consistent.
- GIVE YOUR KIDS EVERYTHING THEY WANT. They may think they need a new car, the latest electronic games and the best clothes, but sometimes you have to say, "No."
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27 Comments:
Amen...
How about:
Ignore them unless they are in trouble. Why bother mentioning any of their behavior unless it needs to be corrected?
Don't make time for their activities or events. You're busy with your own activities and besides, how could that stuff be interesting?
I have seen parents lying to get their children out of trouble. This is seriously sending the wrong message to them. I love your family focus on this blog.
How about: "Lie to your kids to avoid conflict."
You know: "No, those puppies aren't for sale," etc.
Run down the preacher, the song leader, the elders, the youth minister, the church in general in front of them. Talk about anything that will make them wish they hadn't been in worship at all. They will soon be just a carbon copy of you. Be grouchy while you are getting your family off to services, after all you want to be on time and they aren't cooperating. You can put on a differnt face when you get there.
gmj
Wow, everyone is just medlin today! (lol) Our kids do deserve better from us than what they get, but so does our boss, customers, in general everyone we meet. It is sad but true, "children do learn what they live"
Eddie
"Lie for your kids" sticks out to me. I hate when I see parents do that. I think, Well what do you think they're going to do to you when they're teenagers and on the phone with you?!
Let me add number 8.
Never encourage or reward you kids for when the do good. Far too many times we alway look for the negative and try to point it out and discipline them. I read a book called "Whale Done". Rewards and praises will have a major impact in this delicate relationship. People work harder for praises than raises.
Good list Trey! I think they are all good points. How have you been doing?
Bobby
How true, give them all u stated here and you have the reason this nations schools are in danger from students shooting each other, and the many other problems in this nation. We must teach our children Gods way, despite liberal government, they must learn the truth and respect it, this way, the usa, has responsible decent young people instead of spoiled criminals. Lisa
yep and yep.
thanks
brian
Never show any love between the mother and father. Studies show one of the best things parents can do for their children is love each other. At least that's what I've always been told so I loved my wife ... just in case, you know!
Not sure what to say about this blog! :) I don't have kids.
how about "hover"...don't let them make mistakes or even make a mess so that one day they'll understand you hovered out of fear rather than love.
If you are afraid to correct their behavior for fear of being hypocritical. How many parents will say ... "I experimented with things so how can I tell them not to." This attitude can paralyze a parent. Be willing to talk to your children about your mistakes when it is appropriate.
Make your kids lie for you.
~solo
the biggest mistake i think is when a parent teaches one lifesyle and lives another...practice what you preach. the best way for a child to learn is through consequences and rewards...parents are all too willing to let the kids live the consequences of their mistakes. how about letting the kids reap the rewards for their achievements? so often, the parents want the credit...kids get the credit too guys.
I admire good parents. I never wanted the responsibility for someone else's life so I think it's fabulous when parents work so hard to raise children.
I know that even the best of parents can lose their children to the pressures and stresses of life - it must be very tough to be a parent.
I think parents should be exactly like my parents!!!
Great list! I just wish all parents were required to read it.
Amen brother --- now how can we get those that need it this list? I have a feeling your "preaching to the choir". Quick everyone link this post!
I loved this post.....It makes me feel better being the strict parent that I try to be....My parents are "OLD SCHOOL" and I hope that I will be the same way....Thanks for the reality check...steph
8- expect the worst from your child.
9- Believe that your child could "never" do whatever...
I'm not a parent (yet). However, speaking from my own recollections as a teenager and then a youth minister:
- Expect your children to be a vessel for your dreams rather than their own. Berate them when they fail to live up to the standard.
- Second guess every decision they make and turn every situation into a power struggle, just so you can get your way and show them who is boss.
Ditto Greg...My mom has a cross-stitched plaque in their bedroom that says, "The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother." So true.
Also, letting your children watch too much t.v. and never taking them outside of their comfort zone...I'm not a mother yet, but thinking about my parents this is what comes to mind. We hardly ever watched television growing up and my parents always took us to different places to see the way other people lived.
I have 3 boys that are 7, 5, and 2.
It is so hard raising kids. One of my major goals is to make them strong Christian men that will love and serve God. Trey thank you for these tips. I appreciate it brother! Pray for that I will be the father I need to be.
I love you brother.
In Him,
Kinney Mabry
You must have met all the parents of my wife's students!
Back when I taught 3rd grade, I had a child in class who lied and stole things (and was caught in the act!), and when I called his parents into a conference, they told me that he would never do that, and that of all of the kids in their family, they expected this one to become a minister, and essentially ignored everything I told them. When the family walked out the door, the kid turned around and gave me a knowing smile and shrugged his shoulders. SCARY that he already had them under his thumb at 8 years old.
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