Friday, October 16, 2009
WHAT WOULD JESUS TWEET (OR HIS FACEBOOK STATUSES LOOK LIKE)
Can you imagine if Jesus would have had a Twitter or Facebook account? His status updates would have been THE best. Maybe they would have looked something like this...- Didn't tell my parents I'd be hanging at the temple for about 3 days. Mom and Dad just found me. Wow, Mom looks mad.
- Totally freaked out my disciples with that miracle. Wish you could have seen the look on Peter's face. Priceless!
- Just pulled the boat up at a cemetery. A screaming naked demon possessed guy came running up. Apostles are refusing to get out of the boat.
- Just sent a bunch of demons into a heard of pigs. I call it swine flu.
- Sleep evaded us all last night. Andrew snores like a three-humped camel with asthma.
- The Pharisees are mad at me again. Honestly, is there ANYTHING I can do on the Sabbath without getting into trouble?
- Just changed water to wine for the wedding feast. Let's see the preachers try to explain this one in 2000 years. :)
- Poor misguided Pharisees, when will they ever catch on?
What can you add?
Labels: Jesus
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26 Comments:
LOL. That's all I'm gonna say. Thanks for making my day brighter!
Just broke up a funeral. Luv it when the dead sit up!
Parents bringing children to see me. Can't wait to talk to each of them TTYL.
Apostles arguing among themselves again! Will they ever get it?
Look at the people flocking to me; I must be more popular than the Beatles!
Judas is up to something. I can just feel it.
Ha, those are awesome!
Have you ever seen the vintage21 videos? This reminds me of them...
What in the name of ME is going on in here?! ;)
Those are awesome. Keep up the good work.
Taught while sitting in boat again. Started to step out and walk, but will save that one.
Is it just me, or does John the B. have locust stuck between his teeth?
How come Matthew keeps writing down everything I say?
If the apostles give me that "We don't get it" look one more time, I'm going to scream!
LOL! Those scribes really can't take a joke
-Jesus is now friends with John the Baptist
-Jesus is now friends with Phillip
-Jesus is now friends with James and John
-Jesus is now friends with Nicodemus
-Jesus is now friends with Zacchaeus
10,000 similar posts!
Trey, you must be some kind of theological genius; Who else could come up with the phrase "Three Humped camel with asthma!" That has to be an inspired statement! Love you brother
bah ha ha! swine flu!! lol.
Some guys caused a stir at a house where I was preaching by cutting a hole in the roof and lowering their buddy down. I healed him. Guess I will be patching the roof in the morning....
Based on your previous blog, I'm pretty certain he would have twittered in King James English.
WHOA! Peter just cut some guy's ear off.... dude wasn't expecting THAT!
I currently have 12 followers. I bet I can get 5000 more with a few loaves and fishes.
Satan came to tempt me then angels came to tend to me. It's an average morning.
Had to wash their feet. Someone was stinking up the room!
I have to admit, the whole dove-coming-down-voice-from-heaven thing freaked even ME out!
Just got woke up from a nap, man these apostles are wimps when it comes to a few waves. If I can sleep though it, they can deal with it themselves!
The kid wasn't so humble after all... he got the big head after I picked him and I saw him bragging to his buddies.
(This is one of the most entertaining posts I've read in a long time. Thanks!)
Feels good to be in the sunlight again. Left angel to tell anyone who comes looking for me that I'm back.
Wonder if this thing still works from way up here. The look on those guys' faces is priceless.
EXCELLENT ... I'm enjoying this ... How about:
- Satan is now following Trey. Jesus says, "I'll block him for you"
- People are beginning to catch on, IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE.
- @ Apostles: Who's up for supper? I cooking tonight.
-Watching the Texas/OU game... I already know who wins ;-)
-Pleased with Trey's boldness. Wish more of my people would be bold.
-Still waiting for the Pharisees in NC to get it...
I'm sorry to break up the rhythm, but this is the BEST post I've read! I just kept laaughing even louder after each comment! Great way to wake up! Carry on!
Contact me any time at www.praytojesus.com or call me at 1-800-imjesus. I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks for putting your Faith in me.
Brother Trey, your blog is great! That's why I nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger Award! Come to my blog, wrestlegod.blogspot.com and see!
How about:
Father, just once, let me send the twelve legions down and smack these pharisees around
You should have seen Peter's face when he looked away from me walking on Water
Trey, keep em coming...this blog was priceless!!!
What a strong faith that I see in women. They definately will play a role in my church and Kingdom! I want my church to remember that they matter and are useful!!
These nails can't hold me. I'm going home!
Not swine flu, but deviled ham, packed in water! Greekinator
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